accepting failure
just want to pen down some thoughts i had recently...
recently i find this paranoia or pessimism growing in me lately. it's like if i manage to get something done i don't dare to be too happy about it in case it turns out to be a false hope and the greater the happiness now the greater the disappointment later...
i think it probably stemmed from my modeling project, when we first thought (note: thought) we managed to converge to a solution. i was really very happy then. literally trying to restrain myself from jumping up and down in joy =p. announcing to any friend i see the "good" news. only to be very disappointed the next day when we realised it was all but an illusion.
and so, when my group "obtained" the specifications (requirements) for our hysys project yesterday i found it hard to believe it. it's like there's something in me telling me that its not possible, we probably missed out something. the paranoid me went double checking when i reached home, and true enough, we really missed out something. and we indeed did not obtain the specifications after all.
it got me thinking how i am starting to accept failure as part of the path to success. in fact, its like i am expecting to see failure already. i still remember how it took me two failures and a whole year to get a driving license. although it may be just a way of making myself feel better, an excuse perhaps, but i did really feel the success of getting my license much sweeter than usual because i had failed before. it's like failing made me appreciate my success more. it made me work harder and reap the fruits of my labour and enjoy the success more as a result.
life is not a bed of roses anyway as we grow older and have greater responsibilites, more difficult workloads. perhaps that's why many many things we do now require so much from us and it's not easy to achieve what we want by pure hard work anymore. so learning to accept failure, may not be a bad thing afterall =)
.: ting @ 1:07 AM ~
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